Anonymous asked: This is sort of embarrassing... But I need help please! I am 17years old and I don't have a boyfriend. I have been feeling very hypersexual and I feel like Im about to burst. I don't believe in casual sex for many reasons but I can't escape this feeling. Is there any advice you might have please? I'm sorry that this is awkward and you don't have to answer but I just didn't know who to talk to :/
*trigger warning: hypersexuality*
read this post.
I feel like I can not promote masturbation enough. For everyone. It is so good for many aspects of your health, mental, physical and emotional. And of course it’s very important for your sexual health because you never want to depend on another person for making you feel that good. “But Dev,” you ask quizzically ”what benefits could masturbation possibly have?” Well let me tell you!
— Improving immune system functioning.
— Building resistance to prostate gland infection.
— Making for a healthier prostate.
*Australian researchers have reported that frequent masturbation may lower a risk of developing prostate cancer. A survey found the more frequently a person masturbates between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to get prostate cancer. In fact, those who masturbated more than five times a week were one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer.*
— Building resistance to yeast infections.
— Combating pre-menstrual tension and other physical conditions associated with their menstrual cycles, like cramps.
— Relieving painful menstruation by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region. This will also reduce pelvic cramping and related backaches.
— Relieving chronic back pain and increasing the threshold for pain.
— The safest kind of sex, keeping you free of sexually transmitted infections.
— A great form of stress relief.
— A mood booster in releasing endorphins.
— A natural sleep sedative.
— A mechanism for building stronger pelvic floor muscles, which can lead to better sex.
— A natural energetic pick-me-up. source *
Despite what you may hear, esp if you happen to be a young woman, masturbation is 100% natural and healthy and amazing. You can find information every where, the internet loves to talk about it. And like I said in the ask I linked you too, it’s the best fighter for hypersexuality when you’re single / don’t believe in casual sex.
Also, in case people decide not to read the link, I will quote myself from that ask before anyone feels left out
Now, before I get any angry asks, I will give my answer for people who don’t believe in masturbation or any kind of sex, my advice is when you’re feeling stable write yourself a letter. And I mean a letter, not a note or a quick little something, really take the time to write out how you feel and why you feel that way, the more details the better and read it when you’re feeling tempted or overwhelmed. I’ve done this with my person issues, when I’m trying to recover for something, having that letter, reminder to myself from myself, has helped me in some rough times, so I know it can work. And if being against masturbation is your belief, I want to say that I believe you’re strong enough to fight these urges, and get through it.
To add to that I want to say that it’s all about distraction. You CAN fight these urges, if you feel that’s what right for you. I don’t pass judgement and I understand there are many reasons a person could not want to participate in self love, such as religion, past trauma, or just not yet being to the point where they feel comfortable with themselves or their bodies, and that’s OK. Have back up plans, have distractions and hobbies that you can enjoy and use all your energy and focus on. I really believe in the writing yourself a letter idea, if need be email it to yourself and you can have it on your phone where ever you are.
I’m sorry I don’t have anything else to offer. And it’s not awkward to me AT ALL. Sexual health is something I feel really passionate about and I’m always here to talk to you guys and give advice on whatever you need.
xx Dev
anonymous submission
Anonymous asked: Thanks! Also, do you guys think the hyper-sexuality would disappear with medication? --J
I don’t know if I’d say “disappear” but medication to help get the feelings under control, and other aspects of a treatment plan could help you understand the feelings. It’s definitely worth looking in to.
xx Dev
Anonymous asked: Can you give any advice on dealing with hypersexuality and bipolar?
»POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING SEXUAL LANGUAGE AND REFERENCES. ADULT CONTENT«
That was a long disclaimer. Anyways. Another disclaimer: Let’s all be adults about this. Here we go.
I’ve talked to people about this before, I’ve gotten questions that are “I’m hypersexual and my partners not in the mood/i’m single/i’m in a long distance relationship/etc etc” and my answer to that is masturbation. If I can do a little play on words here: master it. Know how to please yourself. Whether that involves toys, movies, pictures, whatever, as long as it’s legal, knowing how to take care of yourself is important, at least in my opinion.
I will be straight foreword and say that masturbation can’t hold a candle to sex, more or less because it’s lacking that emotional and physical connection to another person. So it might take a . . few rounds before you feel close to satisfied. Luckily hypersexuality usually comes with mania, so you’ll have energy to spare. But if you’re trying to refrain from sexual intercourse, whatever the reason (partners out of town, you’re single, etc), masturbation is your best bet. AND I want to add that I think knowing how to please yourself is very important for a healthy sex life, bipolar/hypersexual/disordered or not.
ALSO I want to say that if you’re OK with having booty calls/one night stands/bed buddies/whatever, and that works for you and when you come down from a hypersexual/manic episode, you’re not going to feel less of yourself because of it, and the other person is a willing and enthusiastic participant then go do your thing. The reason I immediately talk about masturbation is because when I usually get asked this question, it’s from people being concerned about cheating on a spouse or being promiscuous and they feel that they would think badly about themselves if they were to have casual sex, but if casual sex is HONESTLY you’re thing, then go for it, by all means. I don’t judge, I don’t preach (or I try not to), really go fo it, more power to ya.
Now, before I get any angry asks, I will give my answer for people who don’t believe in masturbation or any kind of sex, my advice is when you’re feeling stable write yourself a letter. And I mean a letter, not a note or a quick little something, really take the time to write out how you feel and why you feel that way, the more details the better and read it when you’re feeling tempted or overwhelmed. I’ve done this with my person issues, when I’m trying to recover for something, having that letter, reminder to myself from myself, has helped me in some rough times, so I know it can work. And if being against masturbation is your belief, I want to say that I believe you’re strong enough to fight these urges, and get through it.
I want to add as a final note, like I said above, I do deal with hypersexuality and I think it’s something that under recognized, if you ever need someone to talk about it with, I’m here. With you guys, I’m an open book, I have no issues with sharing my experiences, as always, if you write from your personal account I’ll keep it between us. And I think that sums it up.
xx
Dev
Anonymous asked: I'm scared that I may have sexually assaulted my boyfriend. I was on a high two days ago and hypersexual. I wanted to have sex, but he wasn't into it - he was worried about me. I tempted & teased & manipulated him, suggesting that I could go out and find someone else... He gave in eventually, after extracting the promise that I'd see my doc in the morning. This is the worst thing I've ever done, and although he says it's OK I can barely look at myself.
Possible TW: Sex, sexual abuse, emotional abuse
Technically speaking, I’m not sure it would count sexual assault, though, as you said, you did manipulate him and quite severely, and threats were used. So I’m not sure where this would stand on that terminology, but I also don’t really care about that too much.
This was emotionally abusive of you and it’s not OK, bipolar or not. I’m a big advocate of not using your disorder as an excuse, and I don’t at all think you meant to do that, and I know you feel bad and I’m trying to make it worse, but what I need you to know is that you CAN control these behaviors and feelings, and I’m not referring to medication or any of that right now.
Take note that I’m not being judgmental, I experience hypersexuality, I know what it’s like, I’ve done A LOT of things I regret because of those feelings, things I can never take back, events I can never not experience. And there’s some things I’ve done while hypersexual that I can’t even think about it, because it disgusts me to the point of boiling hot showers and making myself sick. So PLEASE believe me when I say I know how you feel and I’m not judging you.
The fact of the matter is, it’s happened. Now you need to work on patching things up with your partner, with yourself, and making sure it doesn’t happen again. He’s probably not holding it against you, but you still need to talk to him, thoroughly if you haven’t already, and listen to how he feels about it and tell him exactly how you feel about it, it’s not enough that he knows you feel bad and you know he forgives you, if it’s weighing on your conscious, you need to discuss it.
And then you need to figure out a plan for how you’re going to handle that situation or one similar in the future, whatever works best for you and for your relationship. Maybe for you, you just need to go in the shower and take care of yourself or maybe you need to distract yourself completely. Figure it out, and hey, have some fun exploring options.
In the end, you made a mistake, and while I’m not using your disorder as an excuse, you weren’t in the right state of mind, and that doesn’t make you an awful person, it makes you human. So learn from it, and don’t repeat it, make amends with your partner and with yourself and move on. Things will be OK.
best wishes
-Dev
thatqueerlatina added
To the hypersexual anon: I’ve done something really really similar and my then partner had a history of sexual abuse and I can honestly agree with you that it makes me sick. My advice: TALK TO HIM and make sure that you let him talk completely and DO NOT TALK until he’s done and asks you to talk. No matter how awful hearing it makes you feel, you need to own up and hear it.
Anonymous asked: This as seriously been nagging at me for so long but i hope maybe someone can understand. at one point in time i was ragingly manic and OBVIOUSLY hypersexual (im normally asexual when stable) and this guy who clearly knew i was not in the right mindset for informed consent had sex with me. I dont know what to do now that i think about it. it was a long time ago but it still bothers me so much. idk what happened and im really confused.
this is a very sensitive subject and something i think should be brought up with a professional. i know what your saying, and i do have an opinion on it, but i don’t know guidelines and laws and such and I just really think in order to figure out how you feel about it and move on from you need to talk to a professional. i’m not quite sure what you’re asking, but i really really think you need to talk to a doctor who will have some knowledge on the subject and will honestly be able to help you. even without insurance or money or any road blocks you may see, there’s always ways to get the help you need and deserve.
best wishes
Dev
submitted by kardiasteria
1. Thank you love bug!
2. Those stages are the worst. What helps for me, is just removing myself from the situation completely. Even though it feels like you could be mad at everything/anyone/anywhere, some times just going to a quite, secluded place and focusing your mind on something small can work wonders. It’s all about reminding yourself that you are in control. Try and catch yourself before it gets out of hand and do what you have to do to calm down, though I don’t recommend driving.
3. I’ve never thought about that. But in all honesty, there’s people who re-blog our memes just to talk sh*t about them, so if you’re liking them or posting them with respect, that’s all we can really ask for. And I think some memes are relatable to people without any disorders, so yeah as long as your intentions are kind, that’s all that matters to me.
4. this is kind of odd to me. you’re not going to be going around telling everyone you meet your diagnosis or handing out copies of your medical files or putting it on applications, so I’m not sure where he’s coming from. If you don’t understand what he’s trying to say, it’s completely acceptable for you to ask for clarification.
When I was diagnosed I was going through a cycle of medical stays and my doctor had to fill out paper work for my MLA, and in the paper work they had to write my diagnosis and symptoms, because it could effect my ability to work in the future. At this point, I had been with the company for two years, so I wasn’t worried about it, but I suppose this could be what he was referring to.
I would definitely ask him to clear that up for you and tell him it would make you feel more comfortable to have a solid answer on what your diagnosis would be.
5. There’s always options for people without the financial funds that you could look into. Normally I wouldn’t tell someone if they’re “right” or “wrong” in stopping therapy, but in your case it seems like the only reason you are stopping is money, I’ll just say there’s definitely ways and help and resources around that obstacle, you just have to look.
6. AW!! Thank you for taking the time to say such a kind thing. That means a lot. xx
7. Oh yeah, I get that 100%. It happens with me the most when I’m laughing and i start laughing to much, but I can’t stop it. I KNOW my level of laughter is inappropriate for the situation, and it can and has gotten to the point where I can’t breath, but just because I’m aware doesn’t mean I can stop it. Some people with severe psychosis or hallucinations know that no one else can see what they’re seeing, or hear it, but that doesn’t make it stop. There’s no reason for you to feel like you’re faking. It’s happens.
8. I’m no sexpert, but it could have nothing to do with your disorder or your medication, and could just be you. Not that you’re not attracted ot your partner or anything like that, just sometimes our bodies don’t feel like going along with our mindsets. There’s not necessarily anything wrong, it’s just not happening right now. If you’re worrying it’s not going to happen or that it’s your medication, you could also be psyching yourself out a bit. On the flip side, hypersexuality get’s brought up a lot on here, but there’s also the opposite possibility, especially if your heading to or in a depressive episode. One last point, just because a medication isn’t “known” for having a certain side effect, doesn’t mean it can’t cause it. If this continues for a while longer, or really begins to worry you, talk to your doctor about it. You could probably even just give them a call, to ease your mind. Good luck!
-Dev
submitted by Giselle gonzalez
