Anonymous asked: I've been suspecting that I may have bipolar for a while, but one thing that makes me think I don't is that my depressive episodes are usually triggered by something (usually my thoughts). Can depressive episodes in bipolar be triggered?
Hey there, Anon.
Everyone’s bipolar is different, and works differently. Some people experience bipolar in fairly regular intervals of time, and will have an episode after X amount of days/weeks/months/years. Other people may have irregular amounts of time between episodes, especially if they have another disorder along with their bipolar.
I know that my PTSD can sometimes break me out of a hypomanic episode and throw me into a depressive episode, if I’m triggered a certain way.
Ultimately, you can only know for sure if you have bipolar/depression if you’re diagnosed. Especially if you feel like your moods may be triggered more than cycling along, you should talk this over with your doctor.
XX
Sarah
Anonymous asked: I haven't been diagnosed and I can't talk to anyone professional about this because I don't have the money to seek professional help but I might have something along the lines of depression? I've lost interest in the things I used to like. For example I wanted to go to school for art but I lost the passion to and now I don't know what I wanna do with my life. I feel inferior to my family and friends. I cry often and a lot. I also feel self hatred, low self esteem and low confidence. Any advice?
Hey there, Anon.
First of all, I want you to know that there are free resources available for those with depression, as well as other disorders. These will vary state by state, but you can definitely find them online. I know that Safe Horizon was a good organization that I went to in NY, and many organizations will offer the ability to help you locate resources; I went to a Planned Parenthood for a health checkup, and when I told them about some of my trauma, they gave me lists of free organizations for counseling/support groups for youths. You can find free professional help if you reach out for it.
I also want you to know that the depressive episodes that we experience can be devastating. Anyone on this blog can relate to those feelings, and understand - without judging you - what that’s like. We love you. You are not weak. You are not broken. You may feel cut off from it right now, but you have passion and feelings that matter, and thousands of things about you as an individual that no one else has. Not in the whole world.
Stay strong, Anon. We got your back.
XX
Sarah
Anonymous asked: hi.. I was just diagnosed with bipolar but my sister attempted suicide in march so most of my family's attention is focused on making sure she gets better which I completely understand (!!).. but my mom tells me what I'm going through isn't as serious and that basically my stuff is trivial in comparison to her alcohol problem/depression & my sister's attempt. so now I feel like a failure bc I didn't kill myself & completely invalidated & self absorbed bc wow I should be focusing on my sister...
trigger warning: suicide/depression/self harm
I guess I’m just looking for validation? or help/advice? I’m feeling completely hopeless and lost and like I have to handle the maze of pdoc appts and bloodwork and meds and such all by myself and that my mom has realized my worst fear in that she doesn’t think any of this is a big deal
Hi Anon.
I want to start with a little background information about myself. My mom was a drug addict until I was 12, and until that age I lived with her and her drug addicted/abusive/shit head boyfriend. Even after getting sober, my mom still wasn’t the “mom” I wanted and expected her to be. I know how it feels when that one person or persons who are suppose to take care of you and support you and help and guide you at all times, aren’t there for you and don’t do those things. It’s crushing and can make you question your self worth and wonder if there’s anything that you’ve done to cause them to react this way to you. I tell you this in hopes that you’ll see that any advice I’m about to give you is done with honest understanding of how you may be feeling and with nothing but good intent.
From the average point of view the one currently showing symptoms is the one with the “bigger” problem. People have a habit of needing physical proof of things. You could have two people who are physically ill. Person A might have a higher fever and be in more physical pain than Person B, but if Person B happens to be throwing up, than more than likely person B is going to be seen as more sick. The same example can be used to depression. If two people have depression and one self harms while the other one does not, the person who SH will be seen as “more depressed”. To people who understand or live with mental illness, we see how ridiculous this is, but to the “average” person, they need that proof. In their defense, physical issues tend to seem easier to deal with than purely emotional ones, so people tend to gravitate towards helping those first. This isn’t of course to excuse your mother or families behavior but to understand that this could very well be a primal instinct.
You’re not a failure because you didn’t attempt suicide in the same way your sister isn’t one because she did. The month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month and the slogan is “NOT ALL PAIN IS PHYSICAL AND NOT ALL WOUNDS ARE VISIBLE” and I can’t words with how perfect this is. I’ve been at a point where self harm wasn’t “helping” (ie: satisfying) me any more and I couldn’t attempt suicide again, so to me staying alive and not physically self harming was my punishment. I decided that I didn’t “deserve” death. Dying would be an escape and that was too good for me. I still feel this way at times and I know others who do also. I can’t imagine anyone who knows any two things about mental illness that this type of thinking isn’t “as” disordered or dangerous and the toxic thoughts that lead to a suicide attempt. You not being in a hospital bed isn’t proof that you’re not in pain. Not all wounds are visible.
Your family is going through a very tough time right now. But you wanting to take care of yourself isn’t selfish. You still wanting love and support isn’t selfish. Your mother has a sea of her own issues to deal with. There’s nothing you can do to make her better or do make her see that her behavior is wrong. The only thing that is in your power, is you. You are not hopeless. You are strong and you can be strong, for you. In the words of the wonderful Detgen “Be your own advocate”. Go to those appointments, close your eyes and take deep breaths during blood work, set alarms for your meds, tell your psychiatrist everything. Do this for you, because you deserve it. Because you don’t need validation to know that you’re not OK. Because despite the fact that she may be your mother, someone who is clearly not properly handling their own mental health issues has no right to be judging yours.
But if you need someone to believe you I am that person. I believe that you are hurting. I believe that you are not alright. I believe that you need help. And I believe that you deserve that help. I believe that you will get that help. I believe that you will prove that you don’t need to prove a damn thing to anyone in order to get that help. I believe that a year from now you are going to look back at these struggles and see that you are a strong individual who overcame a very troubling time. I believe in your feelings, I believe that they are real and valid, and above all else, I believe in you.
fight for yourself, because you deserve it.
hugs
xx Dev
Dev says:
Normally I don’t comment on meme submissions, but seriously THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN THE MAJORITY OF THE TIME IF YOU TRY TO INDUCE AN EPISODE, you will end up in a mixed state and it’s not a matter of *when* you will crash from it, it’s a matter of how hard you will crash and how much damage you can do in the mean time. SO DON’T DO IT.
there’s a meme in the queue that talks about spoons
so for those of you that won’t get that reference, here is the link to the article it’s referencing.
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
Anonymous asked: Is it possible to develop symptoms of other mental diseases, for example when i'm depressed, i'm like in a third of cases just depresed, in a third social anxious and paranoid (fulfilling most of the criterias seen on the internet and a girl who is both told me it really sounded like it), and i'm a third anorexic (also, fulfilling like 90% of criteria, psyciatrist said it sounded pretty much so), but they go away with depression as if nothing happened, i'm confused?
Hey there, Anon.
It is definitely possible. We all experience our disorders in different ways, and there are many different ways that symptoms can manifest each other. For example, some people binge eat when they’re depressed and others can’t eat for days - and while these actions are on the opposite end of the ‘eating’ spectrum, they are both considered normal reactions for a depressed person.
Don’t think of yourself as having more than one disorder, if it seems tied to the depression. Self-diagnosis, even if it seems accurate, may not be; only a doctor can diagnose you, and you don’t want to take steps to treat a disorder that you may not have, since that could lead to negative health consequences.
My advise would be to consider that these symptoms may be manifestations of the depression, and also talk to your doctor about it. It couldn’t hurt to talk through, if nothing else, how to handle the symptoms.
XX
Sarah
Anonymous asked: Hello! I was just wondering how mood swings caused by bipolar are affected by illness? (Such as a cold or flu) I ask because my best friend has bipolar disorder (unmedicated) and always gets really irritable and depressed when she is sick. Is this because of her disorder? And is there any way for me to help her feel better during these times? Thanks in advance!<3
While I can’t say illness can directly trigger any sort of mood episode, it definitely doesn’t make anything better. The general feeling of malaise on top of either a manic or depressive episode isn’t a good combo. If your friend is feeling manic and sick, then they’re stuck in bed with their mind racing and the agitated feelings just turn into utter bullshit. Depressed your friend might be feeling useless and dead and feeling like shit on top of that is just bad news. Really the best thing you can do for your friend in times like those is just to be there for them and keep them company if they feel up to it. You sound like a great friend though and your friend lucky to have you.
-Adam
Anonymous asked: I just had sex for the first time and it was REALLY drunk unprotected sex... I had to take the morning after pill this morning and I have fallen into a really bad depression. Do you know if its common for the morning after pill to do that?
Trigger warning: Sex
It is common for that to happen with the morning after pill, because how it works is by bringing on your period, so there’s a rush of hormones. But the depression could also be caused by regular feelings after your first time having sex. If the depression lasts past your period or worsens, I suggest seeing a doctor immediately. Knowing the cause doesn’t dismiss the need for help. I hope you feel better soon.
xx Dev
