Anonymous asked: When I am manic, my sex drive is insane. Hypersexuality to the max. But when I get depressed, I have zero sex drive. This can be rough for my boyfriend and I- having to go from having sex multiple times a day to maybe once a week. (And I feel bad for him. He doesn't really understand.) Do you or does anyone else have any advice on how to handle the drastic differences?
You’re boyfriend needs to understand what you’re going through. In all bluntness, I don’t understand peoples seeming guilt over not being in the mood or wanting to have sex whenever their partner pleases. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and desired by both parties, and if one person doesn’t want to, for whatever reason, that’s that.
I don’t care how long you’ve been in a relationship, you never “have” to have sex with your partner. It’s not your duty, just because you’re in a relationship. Especially if you have a mental illness, it is beyond very important for your partner not only to understand this, but respect it as well.
This is going to sound heartless, but it’s my honest opinion, and I’m kind of passionate about this topic. This not only applies to you anon, but to everyone reading this, and I’m not doubting how amazing your partner is, or how wonderful your relationship is, this is just straight point how I feel :
If you’re having a depressed episode, your significant other should be a lot more concerned with how you’re feeling than getting sexual gratification.
So my advice would be help educate him on bipolar disorder and on depression. And how it will effect you and your relationship.
I’m sorry if this sounded rude, it’s just something I feel passionately about, and I really don’t like reading that you feel bad about not being in the mood.
I hope you work things out to a respectful understanding with your boyfriend.
-Dev
Notes
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kissingdolphins likes this
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queertruth said:
And I would add that both people don’t have to be in the mood in order to accomodate each other. There are times when my partner has no sex drive (I’ve worn him out or he’s just not feeling it), and he has still offered to “help me out.”
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pinthetailonthehonky likes this
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lithiatedlemonsoda likes this
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malerinnen likes this
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thebubblegumbutch said:
THIS. REPLY. IS. GOLDEN.
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thebubblegumbutch likes this
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theknightinthetardis likes this
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menmaatre said:
I totally agree with Dev on this issue. Sex should not be the first thing on your boyfriend’s mind when you’re depressed. Besides, there are other ways for him to deal with his libido that do not involve you (or cheating).
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skywritingg likes this
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fuckyeahbipolarowl posted this
